Navigating ADHD Executive Function Challenges
Why "Simple" Tasks Can Feel Overwhelming for ADHDers
A task on my to do list was to book a flight. What’s the big deal? It seems like a straightforward task, right? But for me, booking a flight to Amsterdam for a family reunion became a long, drawn-out process that cost me more money, time and emotional energy.
The family reunion was date was set. I ‘just need to book my flight, but then came the questions: Should I add a few days onto the trip to spend more time with family? If so, should this be before or after the event? What about my work commitments, how will they fit into the schedule? Then I had to decide which airport to fly from—Liverpool or Manchester. Liverpool is easier to get to and better for parking, but Manchester offers more flight options. Should I try to coordinate travel with other family members or go alone?
Each decision felt like it carried the weight of a thousand possibilities, and before I knew it, I’d delayed so long that the cheaper flights were gone. Not to mention, the time and emotional energy spent on what seems like a 'simple' task felt enormous.
Why I know this wasn’t a ‘simple’ task
This is how executive function challenges show up for ADHDers. Executive functions are like the brain’s management system, helping us plan, organise, prioritise, and execute tasks. Tasks that others may find straightforward can feel overwhelming due to impaired executive function, which can be up to 30% for ADHDers. It’s not that we don’t know what to do, but the process of doing it can become incredibly taxing.
For me, booking a flight wasn’t just about comparing prices and picking a time. It was about battling a dozen internal questions, trying to manage my emotional response to those questions, and feeling the pressure to get it just right, which is a hangover from feeling I have often got thing wrong (wrong in a way others may view it) The cognitive load that executive function challenges place on ADHDers can turn even small tasks into overwhelming experiences.
The Role of Emotions
Tasks like this also come with emotional baggage. For ADHDers, procrastination isn’t about avoidance; it’s often about the emotional energy required to engage with a task, or the emotions that come up at the thought of not making the ‘right’ decision. Every time I sat down to book that flight, I faced a wave of uncertainty and stress. Should I do this before or after the reunion? Should I fly from Manchester or Liverpool? What if I forget something important? The mental strain of juggling these questions while trying to make a decision drained me, leaving me stuck in a cycle of indecision.
Learning to Be Kind to Myself
Now that I understand how my ADHD impacts my executive function, I’ve learned to be kinder to myself. I forgive myself for procrastinating and for taking longer than others to make decisions. I also recognise that there are strategies I can use to make things easier. For example, I could have delegated this task to someone else, someone whose strengths lie in decision-making and planning, I could have asked someone to body double and sit alongside me whilst going through the process. Although even with all my knowledge, on this occasion I forgot to delegate, I know that I can still find it hard to ask for help, but I also know when I do, It makes life much easier.
Accepting that this is an area where I struggle doesn’t make me less capable or less intelligent. It simply means I need to focus my time, energy, and money where my strengths lie.
ADHDers are often resourceful, creative, and resilient, but we also face unique challenges when it comes to executive function. It’s not about pushing ourselves harder, it’s about finding ways to work with our brains and learning strategies that help us thrive, even in the face of tasks that seem overwhelming.